We all know how resilient roaches can be but this is getting ridiculous. Maybe this one has brain damage due to all the knocks to the head or something?
Whatever the case the other night when I was preparing something to eat, I heard a rustling in the my storage area. I thought is that a rat? We all know how great my vision is (NOT!) so I ventured over to investigate. As I got to the area where the noise was coming from I could still hear something rustling around and normally a rodent wont make much noise. This was an insect. And big!
While straining to try and focus in on what it was, the thing crawled on to my surfboard (which is bright yellow) and then I saw him. There was Bruno the Roach staring back at me.
I immediately thought I had rid myself of this useless waste of space but there he was again. Resilient as ever like a true roach. Not the smartest critter, Bruno then actually let me pinch grab him across his back and drag his ass in to some light.
Yup! It was Bruno. A Blaberus Giganteus breed of roach, these roaches can grow to 7 inches long and normally dwell in caves. However it would appear that Bruno decided to venture outside his cave and found himself in the wrong house.
WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT FOLLOWS!
After hauling his ass outside wrapped in a towel. I then proceeded to burn his wings off. I then found out that stomping on a roach like Bruno is like stomping on a piece of rubber. Just isn’t gonna happen. After roasting Bruno to a nice charcoal color I thought I would toss his charred corpse over the bank to never be seen again. Did I mention I have little tolerance for roaches?
Something tells me that Bruno won’t be heard from again after driving the nail in that coffin. Hasta luego you slimy roach! Maybe you should have listened the first time.