Back in the day when SNL was actually pretty darn funny, they use to have a reflections moment called Deep Thoughts with quotes from the uniquely strange mind of Jack Handy.
Here are a collection of my favorite Top10 from the late Jack Handy. I hope you enjoy them.
- “It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”
- “If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I’d say Flippy, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong though. It’s Hambone.”
- “I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.”
- “If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting”
- “If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”
- “To me, it’s a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, Hey, can you give me a hand? You can say, Sorry, got these sacks.”
- “Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.”
- “When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we’d all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn’t until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.”
- “Here’s a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn’t see it and go, “Okay, is everybody ready to start now?”
- “Instead of building newer and larger weapons of mass destruction, I think mankind should try to get more use out of the ones we have”